Uninvited
by divinedisorder
Summary: Dominia is given some advice about her feelings towards Ramsus (PG13 For strong lanuage and mention of homosexuality. Fear the yaoi.)


Uninvited   
By Janis   


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**_Warning_**   
_Alternative sexuality is spoken about, it's not yaoi or shounen-ai but just facts spoken. This is a Xenogears Fanfic, alternative sexuality is a given. Strong use of language is up ahead. Be careful._   


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The tall elru amazon paced quietly back and forth as the hours ticked by. Earlier that night the Commander had awoken from his coma in a haze of self-pity and hallucination. It took a harsh chiding and equally as harsh literal slap in the face from the former Elements and comrades of the Commander, Hyuga Rikadu and Sigurd Harcourt, to bring him back to some sort of sanity. Soon afterwards the Commander was given drugs to help him sleep through the night. The two former elements took the four-distressed young women aside and explained that the path of healing for their leader would be a long and difficult road. A simple slap across the face wouldn't heal the deep wounds. Dominia successfully held back a snarl at the thought of the two as "traitors", it really didn't matter now she realized. Solaris, or the least the main hub of the Empire, was shattered into splinters and they now had depended on the kindness of Lambs. 

Dominia made a cry between a sigh and a growl then shook her head to clear her confusing thoughts and beliefs on Lambs. The cry of frustration was not at the hatred of Lambs and whether to accept them or not. She couldn't decide because there was no other choice, she had to accept them. The cry of rage and pain came from the realization that her anger could never again be taken out on these people. The rage she always carried had been directed at the Lambs under her Commanders' wishes. That was once her belief. That was her excuse. 

The truth was the rage of loss and anger towards Solaris had no where else to go. Now she had to find another way to channel that grief and the burning pain. Ramsus never wanted anyone to suffer, despite his hatred to the boy called Fei Fong Wong, the Commander never wanted to torture him or make his pain last any longer than needed, a quick death compared to torture was merciful. She was sure that her commander didn't truly think it was 'killing' but a means to wipe the slate clean and to prove his own worth in the delusional mind that Miang had a hand in creating. The Commander was now at resting in the medical room from his emotional outburst. Kelvena had decided it was best that they should leave so Ramsus could rest. Tolone whole-heartedly agreed with the Aqua Element and dragged the meek Kelvena and Seraphita to the Gunroom to bug the old man and Harcourt about drinks. Dominia smiled weakly. 

That was how Tolone dealt with things and normally she needed a companion whose role usually fell upon Dominia who became more of a babysitter then a drinking buddy. It was up to Dominia to drag Tolone away from fights (if she didn't get into one first) or to haul the Aero Element away from her unwise choice of a date of the evening. However, nothing could keep her away from standing in the lonely hallway of the ship. Dominia could not bear to leave the Commander alone if he should wake up again in manic depressive mood once again. 

The elru was still resented the three other Elements for abandoning Ramsus in Mevreka after all that he had done for them in the past. 

He had saved all their lives multiple times and she stood by him through thick and thin, through joy, hatred, hope and regret. Dominia always wanted to make him proud and to protect him. She, in her opinion, had failed both. Her anger had caused people to hotly question his choice for the element of Terra that he defended but in her mind's eye he should have never been questioned on his choice. Thus, she had failed in making him proud. And to protect him, her highest goal of all... she had failed him. Her failure nearly destroyed him. It went beyond her anger that she never did a thing about Miang and the pain that woman made the Commander suffer. 

Dominia found herself leaning against the wall now, she had changed from her normal Elemental Armor into borrowed outfit offered by one of the ship's crew during a brief moment when the Commander gone back to sleep. It was one of those rare times that she needed companionship and wished she were at the Gun Room right now hearing the chatter of the other girls. It eased her mind with their constant chatter and the never-ending task of keeping an eye on Seraphita. Of course she'd never admit it to her comrades that they became her friends, it was apart of her stubbornness. 

"Kahr even has women swooning for him when he's depressed and suicidal." She jumped, turning her head to the side to face the dark skinned former element of Thermo. A warm smile crossed Sigurd Harcourt's handsome features when she looked up at him with a confused expression before masking it with her usual stone mask. "I'm jealous, he better tell me how he does it." 

"Look, I'm not in the mood for your humor." Distrust clouded her eyes. 

"I figured as much. It's hard to break the ice on what I wanted to talk to you about." 

"Oh really?" 

He nodded, his face becoming serious. "Yes, it's about Kahr..." She gave him a wiry look and quickly studied him. He was exotic looking, beautiful really; he was perhaps taller than Ramsus and certainly his size with clear blue eyes (rather one eye) with pale blonde-silver hair that contrasted against dark almond skin. An air of compassion and charisma added to his beauty and somehow she felt she could trust him. Dominia expected to feel some sort of jealousy if the rumors about Sigurd and Ramsus were true but she didn't expect the feeling of kinship. Sigurd quickly understood the cold examining look the elru wore and once again attempted to break the ice. "It's funny, I'm not too sure Bart would be pleased at the fact I'm socializing with the woman who tried to kill him... what? 3 times now?" 

Her expression softened giving Sigurd the impression she was finally putting down the cold barrier. He could sense the anger and confusion but he also sensed the loyalty and adoration to his friend and former lover. Sigurd trusted her with Kahr, the cold feeling he always sensed with Miang was not apart of Dominia. To the innocent eye the woman with indigo hair graceful beauty and cool demeanor fooled many into trusting her while Dominia's frozen glare and looks matched with her height and amazon built would certainly make one afraid and her demeanor wasn't to pleasant to people she just met. One would certainly trust the indigo beauty over the raging elru. The ebony skinned man lightly smiled. She could very well be beautiful if she only smiled. 

"Mr. Harcourt, you know as well as I that I only attack on my Commanders orders... most of the time. Personally I have nothing against this boy; he just got in the way. In fact I had no idea he was apart of the group retrieving the Animus. It just might be fate." She said with a sweet tone despite her face held no expression. "Who knows? We may fucking each other within a week." 

He decided now would be a good time to bring up the subject. "As much as the young master would enjoy that, I don't think you'd set yourself up into that situation. You care for Kahr too much." 

Dominia crossed her arms, surveying the man up and down slowly. "What makes you think that." 

"Kahr is a very difficult man to learn about or to gain respect from. Only a few people have been able to attain it. The other Elements aren't quite as dedicated as you are to protecting him. Only you seem to want to have his full respect and admiration." Sigurd smiled, standing in front of her. She took a note of the interesting ring placed in his navel where his dog tags should of been years ago when she noticed her hand grazed where her own dog tags where punctured into her navel under her blouse. The elru shuttered deciding the first thing she'd have to do was remove those damnable things. 

"What I do is no concern with you." Her tone was cool and serious. Suddenly as an after thought and attempted to change the subject she muttered. "Funny. You're not like the Thermo Element I know, Seraphita Hino, poor thing's brain rotted out on Drive. But she wasn't too much brighter before hand." 

"Don't change the subject so bluntly Dominia." Sigurd shrugged, leaning against the wall opposite of Dominia. "I cared for Kahr once, I still do. But my desires are petty compared to your love..." 

The last sentence stung her. Always she had been accused for lusting after Ramsus. Tolone had teased her about having an itching to join the Commander in his bed even if Miang hogged most of the covers. Kelvena questioned about that too, and god knows Miang had to flaunt in front of her. To Tolone and Kelvena Dominia always had said, "The Commander is my life, he saved mine, it's the least I can do for him and for Solaris," or a simple "Get your mind out of the gutter Tolone! He's my superior officer!" To Miang she could say or do nothing, just glare at her shoulder. 

No one had ever asked if she loved the Commander, not alone tell her she was in love with him. 

"I'm not in-" She began and faltered. No high ranked officer would expect nor demand someone to wait for them while they slept. Solaris didn't even exist and she no longer needed the Commanders' protection anymore. No one would charge her as a traitor now. Her excuses had vanished into thin air and now she was chatting to Ramsus' old flame that could tell she had been lying and informed to her she was in love with the Commander. How ironic could this get? She thought bitterly. "What the hell does it matter anyway?" She sighed softly. "He doesn't need me-" 

"Yes, he does. He needs someone who loves him. Not someone who used him as a puppet or just wanted him. Someone who loves him. We both know you need him and he needs you. It's just you're too scared to tell him and he probably has no idea you feel the same way about him."   
  
She sighed, defeated. "No. He doesn't care you know. He sees me as a loyal officer. As long as I'm something he can depend on then... it's fine with me. I'm happy." She gave the former element and weak glance. Perhaps it was the first time since Elru was destroyed she allowed herself to be meek. "Why won't you go to him? He loved you once." 

Sigurd sighed, closing his good eye and turned away from her. "I broke his trust when I returned to the surface to take care of my brother. He won't forgive me for that... I want what's best for him and I'm not a bitter person." 

"How do you know he won't reject me?" 

"I can't promise you he won't return your love. But he won't hurt you. He would never do that to anyone." He promised with a smile. "And quit waiting outside. If he needs you I think the nurse would rather have you waiting inside." 

"More than likely he'll want me to protect him from that nurse. No, don't say it." She snorted. "Let me guess, the 'young master' cared more about her D sized bra than her medical education? Or was it you? I've heard quite a few things about you." 

Sigurd smiled faintly. "Miss Dominia, you do surprise me. I never thought you'd accuse me for being such a cad." They heard a angry shout coming from a small petite gray hair girl who came from elevator followed by a tall young woman with pale sea form colored hair. 

"Sigurd! Would you hurry it up?" The child began hurriedly. "They're waiting for you to start the ship. Fei's starting to whine now. Hurry it up!" She repeated followed by the older girl's nod. 

Sigurd nodded. "Good luck Dominia" 

"Right..." She answered faintly before entering the medical room. 

* * *

Ironic, Dominia thought as she rubbed the sleeping grit in her eyes. I wanted to be there when he woke up and the Commander turns out to be waking me up. "Commander?" She muttered. "You're up?" _Stupid! Stupid! What kind of question is that!?_ She retorted to herself. _ He hired me for my fighting abilities, not my speeches._   


The sigh escaped him. "Commander...? Would you quit referring to me as commander? I'm nothing now. Why do you still stay behind with me?" He ran his hand shakily through his pale ivory colored hair and gazed down at her. He always had the ability to gaze or glare down at her, he was one of the few men who towered over her. 

"It's my obligation sir..." She squeezed her eyes shut, sitting up, feeling so... stupid... 

Ramsus shook his head, stepping away from the chair she fell asleep on. He let out a bitter laugh as he turned away from her, shaking his head. "You of all people hated to be used. None of you girls need me now. You all can go. Or at the least, you can, you should." 

"Sir-" 

He whirled around, his hand clenched about her wrist. "Of all of them I expected you to be glad you don't need me. You're the only land dweller of that little group yet when you're not over killing your own kind you're have a hateful frozen shell around you." He winced inwardly to himself, what part did he play in making her this way? Her face remained cold to that stinging remark and he went on. "Yet you've been strong and you've been honest to me. Why the hell are you lying to me now? Of all people..." He hissed coldly, those beautiful gold eyes glared right into shocked green ones. "You don't have any obligation to me Domina. You can survive out there, you of all the elements know how to handle the world down here." _ Go away, I made you to what you are. It's my fault I destroyed your life, your race, if I never went to that area three years ago... Go away, I can't let you near me because one day you'll realize what a monster I am then you'll hurt yourself. I can't allow that to happen to any of my officers._ How he wanted to say that, yet his throat felt too tight, and he felt too sick to speak any more.   


"Commander," Her tone was serious and deadpan. "I know that. I'm aware of that. The other girls need you sir. For their sake you can't toss yourself off the ship or slash your wrists. I won't let you do that. You're something to them. Like you said, I don't lie." 

He grinned coldly down at her. "An Obligation and the need to survive. I know that. I'll live for them..." His grip got weaker as he leaned away. 

"Commander-" She swallowed sourly. She faced the Angels, Fei and his companions, she wasn't scared of hell, and she would march down and back to save him, not because of an obligation. "Ramsus... I'm well aware of the fact I can survive without you Ramsus..." Fear, terror, anger, rage, and hope clung onto her stomach. "...I love you." Dominia suddenly realized that she was indeed lying. The other girls could survive, they were friends that supported one another. Dominia had only been a familiar co-officer to them, a watcher if a poor one at. The commander was the only thing she could stand by. "My first lie... I need you. I just can't think of the idea with out being by your side, one way or another. I just want to protect you." It was over. _Thank god_. 

Her rage began to boil at the thought he thought of himself as nothing. "You just don't abandon those who you love, right? So how dare you think can I stand by and watch the man who is SOMETHING throwing his life away? How can I watch him die? I don't care if you don't love me back! I won't let you rot away! I've fought too hard to keep you alive damn it! There is no way in hell I'm going to let her make you a loser! I won't let her win, I won't let her stain your soul with out attempting to try to wash some of it off. Not that I'm much better than she is. But I swear I will not stand by and do nothing." 

"Ah... should I leave you two alone?" The nurse asked. A harsh golden glare and a frozen stare answered that question and the woman dashed off muttering about checking on other patients. 

Dominia now felt 'normal' again as she leaned on her chair, crossing her arms with her cold expression still in tact. "Now do I have to knock your ass to the floor or what Commander? Or drag someone in here or will you clam down now?" 

"You insult--" He paused, sitting on the bed. "How could you?" 

"Commander?" 

"How can you-" He drew in a breath as his shoulder sagged and spat out two worlds as if they were the most dreadful things to say. "Love me?" 

"Only you would save me, only you would even bothered too. And you're the traditional Solarian. I don't know much about your friends yet over time they had to adapt to being kind to the Lamb- surface dwellers. I can sense it. You've naturally been kind to the other girls and to me. We all get knocked down but I promise I won't let go of your hand until you don't need me anymore." She said quietly, claming down again, looking at her boots. "I don't care if I'm no longer the best. I never was to being with. I felt I had to because I was the last of my own kind. Like you in an odd way Commander..." 

Ramsus looked back at her as she glanced down. Ready to be called an idiot, to say he hatred her or something. She glanced down to the ground. "Dominia..." 

She glanced up to a tired smile. 

"Sir?" 

He reached over at took her hand. "Thank you." 

She smiled weakly back and squeezed Kahran's hand. 

It was enough. 

**_*Fin*_**   


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Authors Notes:   
I'm done, I'm happy. Please be aware most of my stories are not connected so if you see other stories by me with a totally different concept by me don't have a fit, they just both come from the same troubled mind.   
  
  
  
  



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